To Do or Not to Do and Die

From Joan Edwards  Never Give Up!

From Joan Edwards
Never Give Up!

HI Friends!

I am so glad we are friends and I can tell you anything. You already know I didn’t write my memoir as I had promised in the beginning of the summer.  And I have to confide that I still harbor a secret desire to do so. I have another chance. And it is a good chance.

There is a six month course almost guaranteeing  that I will complete my memoir in six months, by the end of this course. I want to take it so bad. BUT I am so SCARED!! I have doubts now. 1-my memories are sepia and faded. 2-I have tried so many times and failed.  3-What will keep me from failing yet again?

However, the good thing going for me is that I have a stronger idea of craft from having taken so many courses and classes and workshops on memoir.

So you see? I’m terrified about doing it. I still may not. I’m taking this kickstarter course first, for the next bunch of Mondays to see if I’ve got what it takes.

The money is astronomical. And my memories are DIM. I’m definitely going to have to rely on my journal. Go back and re read those areas of my life I want to share with people. And hope it’s enough.

I haven’t changed my about page, since I started this blog two years ago. And you can see how I wanted to make my journal into public writing even back then. I’ve taken courses and classes and workshops. So it’s now or never. I guess that is why I’m so scared. This ultimatum and decision facing me.

Have any of you faced a similar dilemma of taking on a project? A BIG job that will take you into hurtful places and you have tried and tried before and failed yet you want to try one more time?? Tell me. Make me smile.  🙂

XXXOOO

See you Friday! I’ve got another fairy tale for you. And on Tuesday will give you another reason why I’m working hard on memoir right now.

© Clarike Bowman-Jahn © Clara Bowman-Jahn

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About ClaraBowmanJahn

Journal writer. Author of "Annie's Special Day" And coauthor of Edmund Pickle Chin, A Donkey Rescue Story." Proud mother and grandmother of wonderful kids. Wife of brilliant husband. Servant of two cats. Member of Pennwriters and SCBWI.
This entry was posted in Clara Bowman-Jahn, Clarike Bowman-Jahn, life story, memoir, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to To Do or Not to Do and Die

  1. Darlene says:

    I’m so glad you have not given up on your goal to write this memoir. Timing is everything and perhaps the time is now! Every time you tackle this project, it will get easier and better. Good luck, I’m behind you all the way.

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    • clarbojahn says:

      Seems like my kid lit community is behind me as much as anyone can! I am so fortunate and lucky to know you. Thanks so much, Darlene. It means so much to me. 🙂

      Like

  2. lhsittig@verizon.net says:

     Clar, be brave! Even if the memoir is never published, it will be cathartic just to write it out.  I know because I’ve been working

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    • clarbojahn says:

      Thank you, Linda, for saying that. I have started writing and twice stopped because it became too painful. but people are right, each time I go back to it is easier.

      My second word for 2014 is Brave! The first is Transformational.

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  3. Get up and do it! You don’t know if you can do it unless you try! 😀 WOO!

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  4. Margot Finke says:

    Memoirs can be tricky, Clar. You have to come clean with “stuff” that will intrigue, amuse or scare your readers – preferably all 3. Good luck!!

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  5. There have been times in my life that I have encountered things that scared me stiff. But my Mom Person was always there to let me know she “had my back”. I knew that I could conquer anything with her there. You’ve got a whole community at your side – cheering. Jump on in!

    Like

  6. jannatwrites says:

    Past failure doesn’t determine future success. You’ve had this on your mind to do for a while. If you decide not to do it, I just hope it’s not because of fear.

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    • clarbojahn says:

      Thanks, Janna!

      I get several phone calls to my mentor and I’m hoping for one this week. Will tell her how scared I really am. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

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  7. Dear Clare,
    Take one step. Just one baby step. One word…one sentence. Each one will lead to the next. Writing your memoirs will help others see how you handled the stress in your life. It will inspire them to keep going even though it doesn’t seem worth going on.

    What will it mean to you if you do it? What will you think inside if you don’t. Accept that it is okay either way. Then go for the one that lights up your heart! I say go for the memoir. I want to learn about you. I’m curious. I’ll also be proud that you took a step to stand up for yourself and honor you!

    Thanks for sharng the Never Give Up image I gave you on your blog!

    Just start at the beginning…a very good place to start.

    Celebrate you
    Never Give Up
    Joan

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    • clarbojahn says:

      Thanks so much for all the good words, Joan. I used your jpg because it says it for me I love it and plan on using it each time I feel scared or like a failure.

      It is good advice to start with one word and one sentence. It leads one on. 🙂

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      • Dear Clare,
        Go ahead write it. What have you got to lose? Do you need someone to do it with you? Ask if other readers will join you in writing their memoir, too?

        You’re welcome.
        Celebrate you
        Never Give Up
        Joan

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  8. Clar, keep writing your memoir. You can do it. 🙂

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  9. Hooray for your starting this amazing project! I know it will be rewarding even if there are some rough spots. Keep us posted and we will cheer you on through the hard parts!

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