Second Challenge of the Fourth Campaign: Things Gone Bad

I’m interupting the usual order of posts to give you the second challenge of Rachael Harrie’s Fourth Campaign. I give you the story first and you can find the rules here. I chose to write a piece of flash fiction in a genre not my own using all the prompts and came in at 160 words. And yes, I’m a glutton for punishment so I would like critiques.  

Things gone bad

Running through the torrential rain had drenched my hair and water ran into my eyes making it difficult to see. Fortunately we found shelter under the remains from a concrete bridge and it felt good to rest our backs against the rusted bridge supports. As the only doctor, I was treating a woman’s deep thigh wound. As I assessed her, my patient kept talking about her child wearing a red jacket playing with a ball on top of the bridge. I put this off as part of her delusion from the fever caused by the wound because the bridge was in ruins. I pulled out my water pear and energy spirals combining them in the way taught at school and aimed them at her leg. It should have healed her immediately. But it didn’t. Worried, I looked over at the half-clad children shifting through a pile of rubble and wished fervently that things were different.

The end

Thank you for reading! I’m number 55 if you like it and want to show your love. Otherwise return to Rachael Harrie’s site and read the other great stories.

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• Don’t Eat My Toes, OK?/ First Campaigner Challenge (clarbojahn.wordpress.com)