Don’t Eat My Toes, OK?/ First Campaigner Challenge

I’m racing against the clock as I type this up in my editor. This Friday’s regular Perfect Picture Book Friday won’t be a picture book but my own story. And my back has given me fits all day. *feels terrible* *whine, whine* wa wa wa.

OK, I got that out of the way now on with the contest.

The First Campaigner Challenge is here in the Fourth Writer’s Campaign Feb 2012. Rachael Harrie http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2012/02/first-campaigner-challenge-of-my-fourth.html  has given us the rules as follows: 

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:

  • end the story with the words: “everything faded.” (also included in the word count)
  • include the word “orange” in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!

 I write in two genres. One is memoir and the other Children’s lit. The only group I joined on this campaign is children’s lit so I made this story children’s. I hope you feel inspired to go back and like it by clicking number 181. I barely made it this time around and hope I won’t get neglected by doing that. Hopefully some of you start at the back of the list and go around to the front. Thanks for reading!

AFRAID of the DARK_alt._Karissa Yu.alt_don't eat my toes, OK?Don’t Eat My Toes, OK?

Shadows crept across the wall. The bedroom looked scarier than usual.

She panted. Her voice didn’t come out even though she thought she was screaming. Her knees shook. She covered her head with her orange blankets and shivered with fear under them. She tried to call her Mom but nothing came out. Then she tried to call her Dad but her voice was barely a whisper. Even under the blankets her eyes were wide open, open to what?

Then she heard a voice. “Don’t eat my toes, OK?”

“Wwhhat?” Olivia said.

“Don’t eat my toes, please. “

“I won’t eat your toes, will you eat mine?”

Then, thinking,

“You’re not afraid of me are you?”  Olivia asked. “I was afraid of you. “

Then they both burst out laughing.  The monster had been afraid of Olivia. How had Olivia not seen that? Then Olivia’s mom turned on the light.  Everything faded.

The end


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About ClaraBowmanJahn

Journal writer. Author of "Annie's Special Day" And coauthor of Edmund Pickle Chin, A Donkey Rescue Story." Proud mother and grandmother of wonderful kids. Wife of brilliant husband. Servant of two cats. Member of Pennwriters and SCBWI.
This entry was posted in blogging, Clara Bowman-Jahn, Clarike Bowman-Jahn, social networking, writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

67 Responses to Don’t Eat My Toes, OK?/ First Campaigner Challenge

  1. Cute. I write in MG and found it challenging to do so. I think because to write the best flash fiction, you have to play with what’s not said, and children’s stories are a bit more obvious.

    I started from the back of the list because I, too, was a late bird. 🙂

    Like

  2. Nice showing, Clar. Fun story!

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  3. Well done, Clar – fun story 🙂

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  4. I liked your story very much! 🙂

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  5. lol, this is adorable! I love it.

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  6. Yeah, I liked that too. The best part was that first line from the monster!

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  7. K S Collier says:

    This was adorable. I love it. Very original.

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  8. Heather says:

    How cute is this?!?!! And captures that “monster in the dark” so perfectly.

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  9. Wow! What fun, Clar! I loved the relieved tone in both voices as they realized each was afraid of the other…kids would love this…it would be a great story to read to children who have night-time fears. 🙂

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  10. Ann Cory says:

    Super sweet and most enjoyable 🙂 Loved it!

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    • clarbojahn says:

      Thanks, it’s my second tag. I’ll mention you as well when my post goes up. It’s hard not getting repeats. I’m sure I did in tagging mine, too. It goes up Tuesday. Maybe I’ll interrupt peoples lives before then, though, since it’s a special occasion. 😉

      Like

  11. that was just plain adorable! Love it.

    Hope you like mine #189

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  12. Dawn Malone says:

    Very cute! Wasn’t expecting it to end on a light-hearted note. Well done!

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  13. That’s cute and brought back memories of my childhood. Mine is #71

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  14. Margot Finke says:

    Clar, you did really well with your “flash” story. Cute and fun!!
    I have only written one piece of flash fiction – yet as a proponent of tight and terrific writing, I found 300 words really difficult to do. Can’t imagine trying 200.

    BOOKS for Kids – Manuscript Critiques
    http://www.margotfinke.com

    Like

  15. Catherine Johnson says:

    What a cute way to use the words, Clar. Lovely entry! Hope your back is feeling better.

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    • clarbojahn says:

      It is feeling better today. I feel like I lost two days this week with it hurting like it did. I have a problem with it. Lately it’s been better than usual. So I’ve been feeling very grateful that it hasn’t been as bad as before. 🙂

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  16. Lady Gwen says:

    That was so cute! And I love the title:) Great job:)

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  17. I like it!! Its refreshing and told from such an innocent perspective that it warms the heart.

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  18. Nick says:

    I love this 🙂 A very heart-warming take on some of the fears young children can have. Really, really lovely. You’ve been shortlisted to move into round two of the judging process. Congrats! 🙂

    I’m entry #207.

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  19. For CUTE! I absolutely love it!

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  20. Carrie-Anne says:

    This was really cute. I like how it started out dark and then became light-hearted.

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  21. Sara Flower says:

    Cute! I don’t read a lot of children’s fiction so this was a treat! 🙂 I like the twist where the monster was more afraid of her than she was of it.

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  22. Joanna says:

    Kids would love this twist. Love the toe-eating fear. Great flash fiction, Clar!

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  23. Cute story, Clarike! Congrats on meeting the challenge.

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  24. jarmvee says:

    This deserves a “like” Clar! Tension, but not without relief…and a clever ending. This would be a difficult genre to write in for me, but you have done it successfully!

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  25. Liza says:

    Oh, I love this challenge as a children’s story. Well done! I think this could end up as a book! Great! (112)

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  26. Cynthia says:

    A fun story. Thanks for sharing!

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  27. E.Arroyo says:

    That’s cute. LOL. Greaat job.

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  28. Pingback: Platform-Building Campaign – “Slow Start” « shanjeniah

  29. shanjeniah says:

    At five, my daughter had a fascination with and horror of volcanoes that was all wound together, and expressed itself in many ways.

    This story is a little like that. It made me smile, and, when she wakes and I read it to her, I think she will, too.

    She’s 7.75 now, and appreciates a good story with an element of the not-TOO-frightening…..

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  30. C.M. Brown says:

    What a cute story! I liked it!

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  31. Marcy says:

    Loved your cute story. I’m sorry I didn’t get here before the voting ended for the first challenge.

    Like

    • clarbojahn says:

      That’s OK. Thanks for stopping by now. I appreciate it and it sent me to your site. So excited about “Quilts for Maddie”. I am definitely sending some fabric to her. 🙂

      Like

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