Why Do You Write? Or Where Do You Find God?

Hi Friends!

Why do you write? Would you keep on writing if no one read your stuff? I would. I have to write. That is why I have three file cabinets full of it. But it isn’t all for other people. Some of it is secret stuff. Stuff I don’t want anyone to see or read. Some of that stuff is just for me. Me figuring out stuff on my own. You see? I write for insights, I write for myself to see what I think about stuff. Some of it I can talk about but most I need to write about to see first. Are any of you like that?

I loved learning Liz Gilbert from “Eat, Pray and Love” had a secret notebook that she wrote in to herself. I found a kinswoman. A fellow traveler like me. She asked questions of herself and answered herself in the notebooks. I don’t go that far. I don’t need to. I just start writing and answers come from me or God. Liz also wonders about where the answers come from. She says her higher self. Isn’t that God?

Since my mother died I have been kinda lost on the God trail. I have stopped praying and I don’t meditate. Although I keep trying to do both it doesn’t answer a need. I used to be quite religious or spiritual. Whatever one would say about someone who went to many church meetings, all the services and helped out at all the functions and then had time to pray and read religious literature. I prayed all the time. Before meals after meals before bed when I woke up.   I would read my daily word upon waking and find solace and comfort and kinship. I loved my friends at church. Then I left.

I thought I would could find a better church in the community somewhere else. Somewhere that spoke to me better. I thought I could find God better somewhere else. I was so wrong. I got lost instead. I am still lost. I know if I prayed, God would find me. I don’t pray. I don’t meditate. I think I got hurt there… at the church where I thought I could find God better. The pastor hurt me by petty grievances but I can’t forgive him. I keep hurting myself by not praying or reading spiritual literature. The only thing that helps is my writing. My journaling. There I find myself. I find me.

What do you think of my journey? Do you find God in your writing? I have written about journaling before here and here,  and you have been generous with your comments. Please do so again. I love hearing from you. And this is a very serious subject to me. I would love to hear from you.

see you Friday! Don’t forget! This is the second Tuesday to get a new MG book from my friend Stuart Stadt called Henry on Fire! All you need to do is comment and follow me and I will draw your name from a hat. Also if you’d rather win a copy of my book “Annie’s Special Day.” I can autograph it and send it to you with love. Just let me know which book you’d rather have.

Stuart Stadt's book: HENRY ON FIRE

Stuart Stadt’s book: HENRY ON FIRE

MY BOOK!! *Yay!*

MY BOOK!! *Yay!*

XXOO  Also Just a reminder. I’m in Texas this week so will not be able to comment right away. Stay tuned for photos and other good news next week!

© 2013  Clara Bowman-Jahn/ Clarike Bowman-Jahn

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About ClaraBowmanJahn

Journal writer. Author of "Annie's Special Day" And coauthor of Edmund Pickle Chin, A Donkey Rescue Story." Proud mother and grandmother of wonderful kids. Wife of brilliant husband. Servant of two cats. Member of Pennwriters and SCBWI.
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17 Responses to Why Do You Write? Or Where Do You Find God?

  1. Clar, I’m so sad that you were hurt by your pastor and others. A relationship with Jesus Christ is so worth it! I honestly don’t think I could handle life. . .no, I KNOW I couldn’t handle life without Him. As much as we hope His people emulate his love and will, we can’t always depend on others to show us the way. He can do that, and His Word can do that. I will pray that you find your way back to Him. Thanks for your honesty, Clar!

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    • clarbojahn says:

      Thanks, Jarm, for responding so sweetly and honestly yourself.

      My sister is like you in her undying faith and journey. I know someday I will return to the faith I used to have. I miss it now and so often feel empty.

      Thanks for your prayers. I didn’t know whether to publish this kind of post or not but I think I like writing about my personal life as well as my life in books. We all are friends after all. 🙂

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  2. So many people are hurt by pastors and religious dogma. God is love, beauty, joy, harmlessness, harmony and so on. I believe we each are a spark of a joyous God source (or what ever name you choose.) It is in sharing our hearts with others that we find a relationship with that source within ourselves and with others. The very fact you are questioning is a good thing. You already know what isn’t meaningful to you! Search for what is meaningful to you — and when you find it, you’ll know. Watch Oprah’s Soul Sundays on OWN. There are a lot of excellent speakers. Deepak Chopra will be on this weekend.

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    • clarbojahn says:

      Thank you, Patricia.

      You are not the first person to tell me to watch Oprah. I need to subscribe to it because I don”t get it on my TV. I have read a lot of Chopra and lately read his memoir he wrote with his brother, Sanjev. He is a wonderful spiritual leader. 🙂

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  3. Widdershins says:

    I don’t think we can lose our spiritual center (or whatever we choose to call it). Sometimes it gets covered up by whatever journey we might be on. Sooner or later it pops up, usually when we least expect it 😀 … in the meantime, follow your heart and trust your Self.

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    • clarbojahn says:

      Thanks, Widdershins

      I appreciate your comment and what it means. I certainly hope so. My spiritual journey is on break right now but I would love it to start back up when it is ready to do so.

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  4. Clar, I had to comment here. I’m sorry you were hurt by that pastor. But remember, he isn’t the God of the universe. The ONE true God who sent His only Son. We can’t put too much stock into people. They’ll let us down every time. Things like that have happened to us too. Actual churches who wouldn’t accept us because Christopher looked different from their other kids. But I would never leave God. I’m going to pray for you. Because I care about you and see you were hurt. I wish I could make it better. I know who can though. The Messiah. Yeshua/Jesus Christ. If you want to talk I’m here. robyn(at)robyncampbell(dot)com Smothering you with loads of hugs pal!

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  5. Hi Clar,
    I totally agree with Robyn’s advice.
    And we should never put anyone up on a pedestal because people do let us down, sometimes without even realizing it. I always just focus on Jesus. He’s the one I turn too, and although things don’t always go the way I think they should, in the end what He has for me is always the better way.
    I write because He has given me creative abilities to express myself. Ultimately, I hope through my writing I will be able to touch lives.
    And if you want to talk more, you can also email me at tracy@tracycampbell.net.
    I’ve been praying for God to heal your hurts.
    Love you my friend,
    Tracy

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    • clarbojahn says:

      Thanks so much, Tracy. for everything.

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      • I’m here if you need me. 🙂

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        • clarbojahn says:

          Thanks so much, My sister, Johanna is also there for me and I would probably go to her first. You understand right?

          She is very easy to talk to and I just have to find the right time. I should have told her a long time ago.

          It means a lot to me to have so many of my online friends ready and willing to talk to me. And after reading this post again and seeing all the love pour out for me is very validating. And now I know what to do. talk to my sister. Thanks so much for helping me see that. Love and hugs
          Clar

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