I’m racing against the clock as I type this up in my editor. This Friday’s regular Perfect Picture Book Friday won’t be a picture book but my own story. And my back has given me fits all day. *feels terrible* *whine, whine* wa wa wa.
OK, I got that out of the way now on with the contest.
The First Campaigner Challenge is here in the Fourth Writer’s Campaign Feb 2012. Rachael Harrie http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2012/02/first-campaigner-challenge-of-my-fourth.html has given us the rules as follows:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
- end the story with the words: “everything faded.” (also included in the word count)
- include the word “orange” in the story
- write in the same genre you normally write
- make your story 200 words exactly!
I write in two genres. One is memoir and the other Children’s lit. The only group I joined on this campaign is children’s lit so I made this story children’s. I hope you feel inspired to go back and like it by clicking number 181. I barely made it this time around and hope I won’t get neglected by doing that. Hopefully some of you start at the back of the list and go around to the front. Thanks for reading!
Shadows crept across the wall. The bedroom looked scarier than usual.
She panted. Her voice didn’t come out even though she thought she was screaming. Her knees shook. She covered her head with her orange blankets and shivered with fear under them. She tried to call her Mom but nothing came out. Then she tried to call her Dad but her voice was barely a whisper. Even under the blankets her eyes were wide open, open to what?
Then she heard a voice. “Don’t eat my toes, OK?”
“Wwhhat?” Olivia said.
“Don’t eat my toes, please. “
“I won’t eat your toes, will you eat mine?”
Then, thinking,
“You’re not afraid of me are you?” Olivia asked. “I was afraid of you. “
Then they both burst out laughing. The monster had been afraid of Olivia. How had Olivia not seen that? Then Olivia’s mom turned on the light. Everything faded.
The end
Cute. I write in MG and found it challenging to do so. I think because to write the best flash fiction, you have to play with what’s not said, and children’s stories are a bit more obvious.
I started from the back of the list because I, too, was a late bird. 🙂
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I appreciate that, Accidental. I will also start from the back. 🙂
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Cute!
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Thanks, Suzicate! I appreciate that. 🙂
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Nice showing, Clar. Fun story!
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Thanks, Patricia. 🙂
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Well done, Clar – fun story 🙂
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Thanks, Susanna. 🙂
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I liked your story very much! 🙂
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Thanks, Erik. Glad you liked it. 🙂
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lol, this is adorable! I love it.
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Thanks, Lynda. 🙂
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Yeah, I liked that too. The best part was that first line from the monster!
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Thanks, Kel. 🙂
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This was adorable. I love it. Very original.
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Thanks, KS. I appreciate the nice words. 🙂
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How cute is this?!?!! And captures that “monster in the dark” so perfectly.
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Thanks, Heather. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
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Well done!
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thanks, Widder! 🙂
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Wow! What fun, Clar! I loved the relieved tone in both voices as they realized each was afraid of the other…kids would love this…it would be a great story to read to children who have night-time fears. 🙂
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Thanks, Vivian. That’s what I had hoped would come out of this story. I have a longer version in the background waiting for my critique group to go over. 🙂
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Super sweet and most enjoyable 🙂 Loved it!
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Thanks, Ann. 🙂
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Truly adorable! Nice job.
I’ve tagged you on my blog too! http://minaburrows.blogspot.com/2012/02/fridays-with-fred-tag-stuff.html
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Thanks, it’s my second tag. I’ll mention you as well when my post goes up. It’s hard not getting repeats. I’m sure I did in tagging mine, too. It goes up Tuesday. Maybe I’ll interrupt peoples lives before then, though, since it’s a special occasion. 😉
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that was just plain adorable! Love it.
Hope you like mine #189
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I’ll be over and read your’s as quick as I can. Very busy today.
Glad you liked my story. Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Very cute! Wasn’t expecting it to end on a light-hearted note. Well done!
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Thanks for reading! Glad you liked it. 🙂
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That’s cute and brought back memories of my childhood. Mine is #71
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Thanks for reading and I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
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Clar, you did really well with your “flash” story. Cute and fun!!
I have only written one piece of flash fiction – yet as a proponent of tight and terrific writing, I found 300 words really difficult to do. Can’t imagine trying 200.
BOOKS for Kids – Manuscript Critiques
http://www.margotfinke.com
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Thanks, Margot! 🙂
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What a cute way to use the words, Clar. Lovely entry! Hope your back is feeling better.
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It is feeling better today. I feel like I lost two days this week with it hurting like it did. I have a problem with it. Lately it’s been better than usual. So I’ve been feeling very grateful that it hasn’t been as bad as before. 🙂
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That was so cute! And I love the title:) Great job:)
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Thanks, so glad you liked it. 🙂
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I like it!! Its refreshing and told from such an innocent perspective that it warms the heart.
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That is such a nice thing to say. I’m glad you feel this way. 🙂
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I love this 🙂 A very heart-warming take on some of the fears young children can have. Really, really lovely. You’ve been shortlisted to move into round two of the judging process. Congrats! 🙂
I’m entry #207.
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OH! That’s great! I”m so pleased. Thank you. 🙂
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For CUTE! I absolutely love it!
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Thanks, Leigh. Appreciate the nice words. 🙂
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This was really cute. I like how it started out dark and then became light-hearted.
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Thanks, Carrie. I like twists, too. This is the first time I was able to write one into one of my stories. I’m glad you like it. 🙂
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Cute! I don’t read a lot of children’s fiction so this was a treat! 🙂 I like the twist where the monster was more afraid of her than she was of it.
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Thanks, Sara. I like twists, too, and this is the first time I was able to create one of my own. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
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Kids would love this twist. Love the toe-eating fear. Great flash fiction, Clar!
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Thanks for the nice words, Joanna. I’m so pleased you like it. 🙂
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Cute story, Clarike! Congrats on meeting the challenge.
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Thanks, Inluv. 🙂
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This deserves a “like” Clar! Tension, but not without relief…and a clever ending. This would be a difficult genre to write in for me, but you have done it successfully!
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Thanks for those kind words, Jarmee. That’s music to my ears. 🙂
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Oh, I love this challenge as a children’s story. Well done! I think this could end up as a book! Great! (112)
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Thanks, I do have plans as well as a rough draft waiting for my crit group.
I’ll look your’s up straight away. 🙂
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A fun story. Thanks for sharing!
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You’re welcome, Cynthia. Glad you liked it. 🙂
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That’s cute. LOL. Greaat job.
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Thanks, E.A. 🙂
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At five, my daughter had a fascination with and horror of volcanoes that was all wound together, and expressed itself in many ways.
This story is a little like that. It made me smile, and, when she wakes and I read it to her, I think she will, too.
She’s 7.75 now, and appreciates a good story with an element of the not-TOO-frightening…..
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How delightful. I hope your prediction comes true. 🙂
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What a cute story! I liked it!
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Thanks, C.M. 🙂
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Loved your cute story. I’m sorry I didn’t get here before the voting ended for the first challenge.
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That’s OK. Thanks for stopping by now. I appreciate it and it sent me to your site. So excited about “Quilts for Maddie”. I am definitely sending some fabric to her. 🙂
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